golden rules of life

it was an early evening when i was heading to meet my friend and i was pretty behind the schedule to what i promised her. the buses were crowded as usual and i could't got into like 10 buses or so. people were just about getting off from their work and in a rush to head home i guess. and jakarta's traffic is maybe a little miniature of hell if i am allowed to make comparison. riders are speeding, cars are cutting one another, and public buses are still the winner of the road. stop where they want and speed up in a sudden.

me. i was hoping to be given a chance just to squeeze my body to hop in. and i was answered.

packed as usual in the bus, i was looking at the faces in the bus. i know some people will say it's a rude thing to do, but i just like looking at different faces after long hours they have spent at teir offices. and i liked guessing about their days. whether it was fabulous, crampy, sad or just a so so day. sometimes i met faces like worn out of life, i mean it's really tiring face that wants to get out of life. and i was thinking what that person might feel at that time.

i usually spend moderate time in looking at people faces. i mean, i dont over stare at them. so the next thing i'll do is mobile browsing, trying to be a power user that my brother always says there's no way i'll be one of them. yeah, he's just jealous because i have more gadgets. hah!

i was scrolling one of subscribed email where i noticed the subject "Golden Rules of Life" and asking myself what golden rules the author meant. to me they could be paying respect, being kind and honest, and more universal values that we all believe. i read for 5 minutes and found what the author described in 15 lines are truer words in life.

hope you like what he wrote. here's the summary

I grew up in Trenton, a west Tennessee town of five thousand people. I have wonderful memories of those first eighteen years, and many people in Trenton influenced my life in very positive ways. My football coach, Walter Kilzer, taught me the importance of hard work, discipline, and believing in myself. My history teacher, Fred Culp, is still the funniest person I’ve ever met. He taught me that a sense of humor, and especially laughing at yourself, can be one of life’s greatest blessings.



But my father was my hero. He taught me many things, but at the top of the list, he taught me to treat people with love and respect…to live the Golden Rule. I remember one particular instance of him teaching this “life lesson” as if it were yesterday. Dad owned a furniture store, and I used to dust the furniture every Wednesday after school to earn my allowance. One afternoon I observed my Dad talking to all the customers as they came in…the hardware store owner, the banker, a farmer, a doctor. At the end of the day, just as Dad was closing, the garbage collector came in.

I was ready to go home, and I thought that surely Dad wouldn’t spend too much time with him. But I was wrong. Dad greeted him at the door with a big hug and talked with him about his wife and son who had been in a car accident the month before. He empathized, he asked questions, he listened, and he listened some more. I kept looking at the clock, and when the man finally left, I asked, “Dad, why did you spend so much time with him? He’s just the garbage collector.” Dad then looked at me, locked the front door to the store, and said, “Son, let’s talk.”

He said, “I’m your father and I tell you lots of stuff as all fathers should, but if you remember nothing else I ever tell you, remember this…treat every human being just the way that you would want to be treated.” He said, “I know this is not the first time you’ve heard it, but I want to make sure it’s the first time you truly understand it, because if you had understood, you would never have said what you said.” We sat there and talked for another hour about the meaning and the power of the Golden Rule. Dad said, “If you live the Golden Rule everything else in life will usually work itself out, but if you don’t your life probably will be very unhappy and without meaning.”

I recently heard someone say, “If you teach your child the Golden Rule, you will have left them an estate of incalculable value.” Truer words were never spoken.
Excerpted from The Power of Attitude

have a golden day!

love letter for a person with the biggest heart

I woke up this morning and the first thing came up to my mind is a very special person that brought me to the world. Who has made who I am now. A person with the biggest heart on earth. It is my mother.

Today is special because she is celebrating her 50th and that seems to me that she's in her 30s. She hasn't grown old to me as she stays young most of the time. I mean she doesn't get old like I do. I am the one who has bags under my eyes not her. I don't know why :)

So, the only thing I asked Allah this morning in my prayers was that she'll be given all he strength and courages to pursue her dreams in life. I know that all mothers in the world put off with all he hardships they encounter in life for their children. And they postpone their dreams too. So I am asking Allah to guide my beloved mother in achieving her postponed dreams, and show her the larger than life things await.

I am praying harder today because I want to spend some of my-always-busy-life and dedicate it for her. I know that I have bad habit, we the children usually walk away from our parents as we grow older. But today I want to defeat the bad habit only for my mother. I want to stay beside, closely.

I want to send a happy birthday for my mom and to other mothers in the world who is now celebrating their birthday too!

We are no one without our mom...

I love you, mom (even I don't say it too often) !

a story of evelyn's husband

Do you believe in destiny?
Or do you agree that things happen for reasons?
I do...
Now and then

This is a story about a man,age almost 60 years old. A US navy retiree originated from the philliphines who left his country at age 18 and spent half of his life in the US.

I was supposed to sit at different seat but asked to exchange my original seat by a man who wanted to stay close with his group. And I didn't mind to do so.

That is how I met him. I didn't even ask his name.. I was more interested in listening to his story of life. I guess.

He was reading a book when I was about to sit. And we exchanged polite smile and asked formally where our destinations were. He said he headed to Manila.. For good, he added.

My wife died 24 days after her 61st birthday last august. It was a heart attack that took her from me. Even though I was the one who had by pass for my heart problem. She was the stronger and healthier. But she left me first. Alone. As we never have children. It's my fault he said.

We were about to take off at San fransisco airport when he said 'this is it' I am leaving for good to overcome my memories of my wife in this city. She left too many finger prints here and I can't stop thinking of her.

I was so sure he had tears when we took off. He hid it from me but I felt his sadness as the plane's flying higher.

He said he had no regret at all. He met his wife in San fransisco and lived together happily with her until she passed away. I just don't want to die here alone. You know, he said. I don't have any reason to stay here. No one will take care for me.

I sold my house and its furnitures. Don't need them, he said everthing in my home just reminded me of Evelyn, his wife. It's too painful. So he sold everything to his neighbour. And packed his new life in Manila. Where he has brothers to stay in touch.

How did she die? I asked after a while. I hope it wasn't too personal.

We were having weekend as usual and she asked me to join her for shopping. Why don't we go out together on this beautiful day, she said? And he was getting ready for his wife.They got into the car, when she said she couldn't breathe. He kept asking what happen until she didn't move again. Forever. He didn't even have the chance to start the engine for her. 911 came when it's too late. It's my fault he said. If only I knew how to help people when heart attack came, she could have been alive today.

Well, it's wonderful you were with her when she died. She must be really feeling loved and safe. Because most of people who have lost their beloved may not even see until the funeral. So you are lucky, I said.. I really meant it.

We both were thinking.. About life. WhAt is left behind and what to pursue. He continued reading a book by my favorite author. And I was reading a book who was written by Albom, the author that wrote the book he was reading. I don't think it's just coincidence.

He taught me something last night. Love and beloved.

San fransisco, November 6 '09

lovely days

Lovely day spent with lovely people
When I put every worries aside for a while
And feel the blessings of the Merciful
Poured into my bags of life

It's my lovely day
And I want to have it repeated
Days after days,
Month after months,
Years after years.

It's my lovely day of life

precious family

I am thinking of my mom tonight
Wondering how she has been doing lately
And what has kept her busy for the last couple of weeks ...

When I grow older and have my own children
Will I be able to keep a distance from my beloved kids
Like what I want my mom is doing right now
Not that I don like being near my parents
But I think that we the children will behave better if we stay at some distances
I mean us sometimes say the meanest things to our parents, right?
Even if we don't mean disrespect
We do things that piss off them just to try their patience

Well I do those things
I recall myself doing that
Years and years
And don't know how to fix the broken heart
Of theirs ...

But I think of my parents often as I grow older
I like recalling he old memories
Of my happy childhood
I mean I had those happy times
And we were really happy
For that time
So

When I have my children
I'll make sure that I won't have the mistake repeat itself
I'll make sure that I show them when I care
And what I care the most
To my most precious ones
My family

thanks, brother

Just in case I didn't tell you
I wanted to say Thank You
For helping around the house
By cleaning up the bathroom.
When I found it really neat this morning,
I thought you should do it more often ;)

PS: you can have my new headphone in return, brother!

Missing Life

What are you missing in life?

Some people say it's the bigger house, fancier car or more furnitures that are missing that they try to fulfil those needs by working extra hours and spending less hours with their family. One must sacrifice something in life to obtain something they say.

Some people feel at unease with their spouses and say that they are missing the true partner for life. So they begin hunting new partners regularly without realizing it becomes their habit. Well we have to make sure that we live with our true partner for a happy life, right? That's what they believe. So the hunting never cease..

Some say, all I am looking in life is peace at mind. They go to yoga class, meditation, self-help courses and even see psyciatrist to gain such peace. But when you see they life they are living, everything is just the contradiction that keeps peace at mind away. They think help is from outside. When it should be coming inside..

In life, we are always kept busy to find the missing puzzle that needs to be found for ultimate happiness. So we are well trained to see others' life and compare with what we have. And try to invent new life to live. That is how when we start missing our true life...